Reading the room online

In remote meetings, the smallest gestures can carry a lot of weight. Looking at the camera. A quiet nod. Not typing when someone’s speaking. These are today’s social cues and they influence how included, respected and safe people feel.

But not everyone sends or picks up on these cues in the same way. That’s where problems can start. Especially for those who are neurodivergent, managing fatigue, or come from cultures with different communication norms.

So how do we make digital spaces feel fair and collaborative?

Digital body language and why it matters

Good teams work best when people feel psychologically safe and able to be themselves without fear of being judged.

Online, we miss a lot of the body language we rely on in person. So tone, facial expression and turn-taking become even more important. When they’re missing or misunderstood, trust can start to fray.

Think about cameras. If someone leaves theirs off, are they switching off? Or are they simply exhausted, or not in a space they feel comfortable showing? If someone doesn’t smile or nod, are they disengaged or just focused?

If we assume too much from too little, we start drawing the wrong conclusions.

Who gets left out

Not everyone listens, contributes or concentrates in the same way.

• Some people fidget or look away to focus, not because they’re bored.

• Some avoid interrupting out of respect, not because they have nothing to say.

• Some are carrying past experiences of exclusion, and need more encouragement to join in.

When we expect everyone to behave the same, we risk excluding those who don’t or can’t follow that pattern.

Making online meetings more inclusive

A few practical things can help:

• Set clear expectations. Talk about what you expect when it comes to cameras, note-taking on another screen, hand-raising, or responding in chat and revisit these expectations as a group if needed.

• Offer more than one way to join in. Some people will contribute more via chat or email than they will out loud.

• Share your working board before and after the meeting. If you’re using a tool like Mural, give people access well ahead of the session to add thoughts and leave it open afterwards for people to do the same.

• Check your assumptions. If someone seems quiet or distracted, ask rather than judge. A one-to-one check-in might be all they need.

• Value different styles. Remind the group, and yourself, that difference isn’t the problem. It’s often a strength.

It’s about respect, not rules

Getting online communication right isn’t about enforcing norms. It’s about helping everyone feel safe and able to take part.

Because the goal isn’t to look engaged – it’s to make sure people are genuinely heard, however they show up.