Networking events: how to survive (and even enjoy) them if you hate networking
Practical tips to make networking events less painful – and maybe even useful!
Networking events can feel like a nightmare if you’re not naturally extroverted. Walking into a room full of strangers, making small talk, and ‘selling yourself’, it all sounds exhausting, right? But here’s the good news: networking doesn’t have to be like that. In fact, the best networking is just about having interesting conversations, not forcing yourself into an artificial sales pitch.
The trick is to approach networking in a way that actually works for you. It’s not about pretending to be the loudest person in the room, it’s about making genuine connections that can lead to new opportunities, collaborations, and even friendships.
So, if you’d rather do anything else than ‘work the room’, here are some practical ways to make networking events less painful –and maybe even useful!
1. Put yourself in a position where people come to you
Instead of awkwardly hovering on the outskirts of conversations, make life easier for yourself by taking on a role at the event.
Volunteer to introduce a speaker: you’ll get to meet them beforehand, and people will naturally come to you afterward.
Help out on the registration desk: everyone has to check in, which means you’ll meet plenty of people without needing to force an introduction.
Join the event’s organising team: you’ll have an in-built reason to talk to people, and they’ll already see you as someone they should know.
2. Do your homework
One of the biggest advantages introverts have? Preparation. Use it to your advantage.
Research attendees in advance: if the event has a guest list, use it to research common interests, mutual connections, recent LinkedIn posts – anything that gives you a reason to start a conversation.
Look up speakers: prepare a couple of interesting questions. It makes chatting with them after their talk much easier.
Ask your existing network if anyone they know is attending: a warm introduction is always easier than a cold one.
3. Start small
Big groups can be intimidating, so keep it simple.
Arrive early: before the room fills up.
Look for others standing alone: it’s usually easier to start a conversation with one person than to break into a group.
Resist the temptation to scroll on your phone: it’s an easy escape, but it also makes you much less approachable.
Sit next to someone in a session and ask what they think about the talk: it’s a far easier icebreaker than trying to make small talk from scratch.
4. Ask good questions (and actually listen)
Most people love talking about themselves, which makes your job easier. Try:
“What brought you to this event?”
“What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned so far?”
“I saw your work on [topic], how did you get into that?”
Not only does this take the pressure off you to ‘perform’, but it also makes the conversation more interesting for both of you.
5. Use digital networking to make life easier
Networking doesn’t start or end at the event. Make it work for you.
Before the event: ask your LinkedIn or Twitter network who’s attending.
After the event: send LinkedIn requests with a short, personalised message reminding them of your conversation.
Keep engaging: comment on their posts, share relevant content, or follow up with a quick message about something you discussed.
6. Set a low-stress goal
Instead of overwhelming yourself with the idea that you need to ‘work the room’, set a realistic target.
Have three decent conversations.
Stay for an hour before giving yourself permission to leave.
Ask one speaker a question.
By making it manageable, you’ll take the pressure off and make it far more enjoyable.
7. Find ‘third places’ within the event
Borrowing from the idea of ‘third places’ (neutral spaces where different people connect), seek out the quieter spots.
Coffee stations or side tables: these naturally encourage smaller, easier conversations.
Breakout sessions or workshops: they’re often less overwhelming than the main event.
Suggest continuing a conversation somewhere more relaxed: like grabbing a coffee.
8. Bring a ‘networking buddy’
If the idea of approaching strangers is too much, bring someone with you.
Introduce each other to new people.
Take turns leading conversations.
Decompress together if needed.
Final thought: make it work for you
Networking doesn’t have to be about being the most outgoing person in the room. If you prepare in advance, use structured roles, and focus on meaningful conversations rather than just collecting business cards, you’ll find a way to make it work for you.
You can also find other opportunities to network without standing in a room full of people, such as Charity Book Club.